- Member Since: April 4, 2018
I grew up in a family of very petite people. I was adopted and as early as age 12 I stood at least a had taller than all the women, and some of the men, in my family. I had a good 50lbs more on me than they did. I never saw myself as beautiful. But looking back, I was. I really was. I just didn't appreciate it because I didn't fit the mold I saw everyday.
It wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I stated to see myself as a stunner. I always exercised (weight lifting and toning being my favorite) and was very health-conscience. I got married at 32 and for the first time felt my outer beauty matched my inner beauty. This was short-lived. I suffered a miscarriage a few months into my marriage and another a few months after that. My husband began to blame me and threatened to leave me if I couldn't give him a child. We both sunk into a depression. Over the next four years I saw fertility doctors and took hormones in hopes of having a child. I gained lots of weight, 50lbs, he didn't want to sleep with me after I gained the weight, I felt ugly and worthless and still no pregnancy. My husband eventually left me for some 25 year old.
With him gone, I was able to pull myself back together and start seeing my beauty once again. I've been through hell the last four years and it is frustrating and discouraging when I have these stubborn areas. I am asking for help to make a few small corrections so I may see the beauty I know I possess for all that it is.